I am in Amtrak heading for Seattle. 8:15, I am really sick of train, already. I don’t think I will ever take train anymore. When I was a student, I used to take a ship to go back to Tokushima, my home town from Tokyo. I never got bored from ship; I took many times, and every single time it took me 18 hours to get my home town. One time the sea was really rough and I was ship sick all way to Tokushima. It was the worst experience of ship; but I still want to use ship. I do not know why I like ship; maybe I just want to the sea, ocean. Somebody says every living things came from the sea; I do not agree to it, but the sea is great to look.
Now I am seeing the Oregon’s mountains. I feel it was long time that I was in CA for 7, 8 days. Lots of stuffs came by; it did not make me clam or anything, as most of vacations do satisfy people. I mean I could not take it easy except Justina and P.J. came to SF to see me. Anyway the vacation, shall I say, is almost over and it would never happen again, never happen. People think something happens again, but it doesn’t. I am passing one mountain, which I don’t know the name, I will never pass this mountain again; even if I do, this mountain will have different appearance. Only now, I can see these mountains and I chose to see these mountains. If I did not chose to see mountains I did not see them.
I chose to come to the, U.S. for a few options. I had a chance to keep working at the flower auction, start Company. Few choices, but I chose to go to America and I can’t take the other choices. My life has been created by my decisions. I have to make a decision everyday and it may decide, change my life. That’s why I have to learn more and have experience more not to make a bad decision. But it is also important that to make myself happy even if I had made a bad decision. That’s important.
Frankly, it is alright with if I take a bad chance. Sometimes I think, what I am come to the world for. I thought I should have being happy or made somebody happy or something. They are all true. But when I think deeper about it, my soul says different. It says I should polish my self in dirt. I have to grow myself all the way to grave yard. It also says everything that includes bad luck, wrong decision, burden, conflict, and so on help growing me. In terms of that I polish myself everything is good thing to me. Then I can not run away from problems that I have to manage. If I turn away from problems I never grow although I can make myself happy, temporally. But in the long run, I had better face to; this is the only time I can face to. This is the track that I never take again.
I arrived in Seattle around 12:30; it was 4 hours late. I did not even get pissed off or anything. I thought it happened and it was expected. So we expected it would be 3 hours late for when we were supposed to. Then we took a cab to get to the Vagabond hotel. The guy who took was kind of guy that came from Africa and for earning money for his family. Big difference between Mexican and him is English. Other than that it did not seem any difference. I don’t think English is matter as long as you stay in the U.S. But, it is not the only matter. Same thing happened to my mind before. I had been thinking English is the most important for starting company in the U.S. it is partly true too. But it is not all true. Maybe you can’t understand what I am saying. I mean many people try to stay in the U.S. —I don’t know why America attracts people a lot, even though I was one of them—but many people don’t have any particular goal to be here. At least I don’t like that way. I want to live with my will and dream wherever I am. If I don’t I am nothing anywhere. I don’t know what I am trying to say, yet I, at least want to say to me that I want to stay with my road that God shared me.
Anyway it is too late. It is time to start writing “Miger” that I am working on; it is my writing.
Now I am seeing the Oregon’s mountains. I feel it was long time that I was in CA for 7, 8 days. Lots of stuffs came by; it did not make me clam or anything, as most of vacations do satisfy people. I mean I could not take it easy except Justina and P.J. came to SF to see me. Anyway the vacation, shall I say, is almost over and it would never happen again, never happen. People think something happens again, but it doesn’t. I am passing one mountain, which I don’t know the name, I will never pass this mountain again; even if I do, this mountain will have different appearance. Only now, I can see these mountains and I chose to see these mountains. If I did not chose to see mountains I did not see them.
I chose to come to the, U.S. for a few options. I had a chance to keep working at the flower auction, start Company. Few choices, but I chose to go to America and I can’t take the other choices. My life has been created by my decisions. I have to make a decision everyday and it may decide, change my life. That’s why I have to learn more and have experience more not to make a bad decision. But it is also important that to make myself happy even if I had made a bad decision. That’s important.
Frankly, it is alright with if I take a bad chance. Sometimes I think, what I am come to the world for. I thought I should have being happy or made somebody happy or something. They are all true. But when I think deeper about it, my soul says different. It says I should polish my self in dirt. I have to grow myself all the way to grave yard. It also says everything that includes bad luck, wrong decision, burden, conflict, and so on help growing me. In terms of that I polish myself everything is good thing to me. Then I can not run away from problems that I have to manage. If I turn away from problems I never grow although I can make myself happy, temporally. But in the long run, I had better face to; this is the only time I can face to. This is the track that I never take again.
I arrived in Seattle around 12:30; it was 4 hours late. I did not even get pissed off or anything. I thought it happened and it was expected. So we expected it would be 3 hours late for when we were supposed to. Then we took a cab to get to the Vagabond hotel. The guy who took was kind of guy that came from Africa and for earning money for his family. Big difference between Mexican and him is English. Other than that it did not seem any difference. I don’t think English is matter as long as you stay in the U.S. But, it is not the only matter. Same thing happened to my mind before. I had been thinking English is the most important for starting company in the U.S. it is partly true too. But it is not all true. Maybe you can’t understand what I am saying. I mean many people try to stay in the U.S. —I don’t know why America attracts people a lot, even though I was one of them—but many people don’t have any particular goal to be here. At least I don’t like that way. I want to live with my will and dream wherever I am. If I don’t I am nothing anywhere. I don’t know what I am trying to say, yet I, at least want to say to me that I want to stay with my road that God shared me.
Anyway it is too late. It is time to start writing “Miger” that I am working on; it is my writing.
posted by TCK at 5:28 PM
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