No cry

Yesterday was the best day of the year, because I saw friends altogether at the same time. Even if I was soooo tired and sleepy and sick, I could have fun pretty much. I want to say thank to all of them, especially Vicky who came to visit from the U.S.A. But when I was about to go into Fumi’s house where people were gathered, I lost a word. I mean I could not speak even Japanese, still less English. Maybe it was from happiness and tiredness.

Anyway, I was really glad to see all of them. I thanks to God.

But today was the worst day of the year. Money was stolen, AGAIN. Last time when I found money was stolen, I reported it to my boss. Then the boss started making us checking money every two hours for a day. After that nobody stole any money. Everybody was pretty sure that my manager is stealing money all the time. Especially, after previous manager quitted and “the manager” took place of him, I really worried about that he would steal money and impose the crime on me.

To make the complicated story easier, he stole money, obviously today and he said I did. He came to the café this night, and I had been checking money every two hours. When he came he asked to me if I did check the money today. I replied yes, but he did not seem he heard what I said. He checked the drawer of the casher and took more than 200,000 yen (around 2,000 dollar) away from it, because there was lots of money more than we needed. And he took it to the safe. I should not have let him do. Actually I would do it myself, but he said he would do. That was my fault. Anyway when he came that was around 9 pm and I checked the money around 8 pm, and then it was no error. It would not happen that 100 bucks disappear for an hour, because there were only around 10 customers came after 9 pm. It means only 10 times, we opened the casher machine.

I called to my manager and told about it. I knew he did, but what he insisted on was like I stole again. Of course I didn’t and I said I didn’t. Then he said “Anyway it was your fault, you have to make amends for it.” WHAT? What is “Anyway”? and why it was my fault? What is his opinion is, that I left lots of money in the drawer and made a circumstance that everybody could steal money. Now he was saying I ought to suspect all co-workers of a stealer. He kept saying that I have to pay for it. I said I would not touch that stupid money anymore, because every single time, when he came, money was stolen. I did not say he stole every time, though. He said I am useless I should quit. I said okay. I came close to spilling “thank you”. But it was no fun at all to be called stealer. Probably, after I leave, the manager would say I stole all the money which were stolen. He says wherever I went, money was stolen. But I have to remark, it was truth, wherever I went and money was stolen, but he was also there.

Any co-worker knows that he was eating company’s stuffs without paying all the time. He seems he has the authority to do, due to that he was the guy who was ordered by the president to structure this company.

On the way back to my house I felt like crying, but I didn’t. I won’t cry till I don’t have to. But it was true that I wondered why I have to work this company for. Everybody says I should quit and my friend will quit soon. I sort of had a obligation to the company about hiring me last year. But I decided I would quit as soon as possible for my life. There is no reason any more to waste my life in that sad company.

Maybe, a few years later, when I re-read this journal, I can laugh it away. I won't cry untill I do not have to.