memory hazard

Oh I cannot write. I used to tell my hobby is writing stories. And that was. However a number of writing became less and less every year. I think I wrote only 1 or 2 stories last year. I suppose that I have not written any this year.

Just a while ago, I was trying to write something and sat in front of my computer. I waited and waited till an idea to write come up. Nothing occurred to me. Well I got a sort of idea to write about a guy who cannot write. And I found that I couldn’t even write about it either.

It seems okay to write a journal. I don’t know why. It probably I just ran out of what to write about. Or simply I realized that writing was phony deed to carry out. The last writing I can remember is about a boy who attends a funeral of somebody he doesn’t know at all. And he cannot distinguish if the dead is man or woman. I thought that was a funny story; however my wife found it boring. Owing to nothing much else happens in the story.

I have one thing I want to write in my mind. But I haven’t got courage to actually write. I know the story will be longer than anything I wrote. I know myself disgustingly very well. What put me off writing story the most is that I will not be able to get it through. I don’t want to be disappointed with myself for not writing through.

I know my writing is getting worse and worse day by day. I need to write to keep my writing skill. By the way, I became unable to memorize things. Not only unable to memorize but also it seems I forget words too.