In the mist

How depressing today was!! Last night my mother asked me to go to fortune telling with her. It was for me. In one word, my family is not too happy that I start company myself, especially if I start in the U.S. They worry about if I fail it. But the funny thing is, though, they don’t even know what I want to do. They never asked before… it does not matter for them what I will do. Their opinion is, I am going to fail if I do something. They are negative about anything I do, anytime. Whenever I did something, they, especially my mother and sister gave me some negative options. They are partly right too, I know it is. I know it. But I can’t take easy way unless it is absolutely impossible way to take. Actually I’m not the guy that is active and offensive. I am opposite to it sometimes. But once I made up my mind to do something, I do drastically. I don’t know it is proper word, drastic, but something like that. I never give up—it sometimes pretty annoying to my friend, thought—what I decided to do. But as I said my family is right for some point. I have to make my plan clearer as a glass. This is my problem, optimism, so to speak.

Anyway, it is the phase I have to manage to get through. As I write before. I can’t run away from this, it is okay if I change my mind; but I just can’t to just run away from this issue without doing anything. If I do I am a goner; I possibly am to be happy, but I will be a goner, anyway. What decides whether your life is good or not are, if you regret or not when you die and if you commit sin to God and yourself. I am happy to die if I haven’t done them.

I am kind of tired today. My writing may crazy. But I want to read this with smiling when I re-read in the future; although, maybe I will.

However, today was really humid too. Can you believe that I have not seen the sun yet after I got here? When it is clear, my mind will be clear too. Is that right, God?