My new life will start from today. It means I am going to change. I won’t look I change if I change. I may do something stupid same as I do now. But it will be different; it may look same but actually different.
Just now, 5:22, I went to convenience store to ship my stuff to Tokushima, my home town. I have to roam around Tokyo for a while. On the way to the convenience store, my friend came with me. He was going back to his hometown already and wizard agriculture as well as really independent. I said good bye to him in front of the “Night entrance” we started walking toward opposite direction. I didn’t turn around and look him. I am sure he didn’t. He is not the types that turn around and be caught by memories. He is looking ahead his future.
On the way back to the hotel, my breath was shallow, and I trembled a bit for imaging my future and all. I know what I should do obviously. It is funny I thought if I could see my future track, I could do what I have to do easier. But the real it is “NO”. I feel fear from my transparent future. It is because, I can image what I will be if I fail. This is like a mirror. A mirror reflects strong as how the surface is clear. I feel fear to see obviously my future even my plan is obvious.
Yet I don’t take any detour, I go straight. I know what I have to do. I have to prepare to see myself. I need God’s back up. But God won’t help me unless I make efforts first or show my strong will. My own help describe the longitude and God’s help describe the latitude. Then both help create an orb. I have to grow my orb so that many people live on my orb. You know what I mean? I mean I don’t want to be a fig tree if you know what I mean.
What I have to do today? My main focuses are going to American embassy and see my friend who is working for a lawyer. See? how obvious my plan is.
Just now, 5:22, I went to convenience store to ship my stuff to Tokushima, my home town. I have to roam around Tokyo for a while. On the way to the convenience store, my friend came with me. He was going back to his hometown already and wizard agriculture as well as really independent. I said good bye to him in front of the “Night entrance” we started walking toward opposite direction. I didn’t turn around and look him. I am sure he didn’t. He is not the types that turn around and be caught by memories. He is looking ahead his future.
On the way back to the hotel, my breath was shallow, and I trembled a bit for imaging my future and all. I know what I should do obviously. It is funny I thought if I could see my future track, I could do what I have to do easier. But the real it is “NO”. I feel fear from my transparent future. It is because, I can image what I will be if I fail. This is like a mirror. A mirror reflects strong as how the surface is clear. I feel fear to see obviously my future even my plan is obvious.
Yet I don’t take any detour, I go straight. I know what I have to do. I have to prepare to see myself. I need God’s back up. But God won’t help me unless I make efforts first or show my strong will. My own help describe the longitude and God’s help describe the latitude. Then both help create an orb. I have to grow my orb so that many people live on my orb. You know what I mean? I mean I don’t want to be a fig tree if you know what I mean.
What I have to do today? My main focuses are going to American embassy and see my friend who is working for a lawyer. See? how obvious my plan is.
posted by TCK at 1:35 PM
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